


lost it to trying

by Pine_Daddy



Series: Langst [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Vent Writing, mentions of thoughts of suicide, poor lance, this is just me projecting onto lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 21:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10228310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pine_Daddy/pseuds/Pine_Daddy
Summary: This wasn't anything new reallyHe's always be been told he was an emotional person,Sometimes its a good thing.It usually isn't.





	

This wasn't anything new really.  
He's always been told that he was a pretty emotional person,  
While sometimes it’s a good thing,  
It usually isn’t.

Yeah sure, at least Lance not some emotionless cold-hearted person,  
Even though he feel like that would be a lot better than feeling this way.

“Be careful with Lance, he’s sensitive.”

“Don’t hurt Lance’s feelings, he’s very sensitive to that.”

“Lance has a lot of emotions, don’t make him cry.”

“Lance cries easily so be nice.”

Lance got sick of hearing that so he decided to try and show as little emotion as possible.

Key word: tried.

It worked for a little while, but not for very long.  
He felt like he got upset over the littlest things that hardly matter.  
He tried to hide it, because he didn’t want everyone's pity,  
He don’t want their sympathy,  
He don’t want people to see this side of him,  
Lance didn’t like people seeing this side of him.

This  
Ugly  
Emotional  
Crying  
Pathetic  
Useless  
Insecure  
Side of him.

There was always Hunk, but there was only so much he could do,  
There was even a time where Lance confessed his thoughts of suicide to him, which resulted to causing Hunk to cry. Lance felt so guilty afterwards, Hunk had to deal with enough as it is, and he didn't need to worry over Lance too.

Some days he was okay, some days he didn't feel like a useless piece of crap, some days he actually felt good! Some days he didn't feel so insecure and didn't have to pretend to be happy. Those days were the best.  
But then the next day he would just go back to hating himself and having to pretend to be constantly in a good mood and upbeat, and he was just so tired of it.  
Some days he just wanted to stay in bed and wallow in his own self-pity for a while and just sleep for a long time.  
He was always tired, whether he was just sleepy or just tired of trying anymore. Most days he was to tired to even talk nonetheless move.

But you can't be lazy or useless when you were fighting a war.

The Garrison was stressful enough, and this was way worse. He loved his friends (he even counted Keith as a friend, but he'd never say it.) and he loved Coran and Allura and the space mice too of course, but it just wasn't home. He missed his family, he wanted nothing more than to go home and play with his siblings again.  
But there was a chance that he would never get to see them again, who knows how long this war will be? Who knows if he'll even make it out anyway? They'd probably kick him out once they realized that they didn't need him anyways.

No one needed him.

 

He was tired of trying.

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this was a vent writing I made a while back, but I just edited it so it'd refer to him and not me.  
> So yeah, most of Lance's thoughts and experiences are all my own, except I made all my friends cry and I still feel guilty hnnnnngh.


End file.
